Josefina [not her real name] asked me how to start practicing acceptance. After several coaching sessions it had become clear to her that mindfulness and acceptance would be crucial to her pursuit of growth and happiness. With a busy mind and demanding schedule she needed an easy start and a path to follow, but not an impossible promise of a quick fix.
I shared the same four questions with Josefina that I've shared with every client at some point of our coaching journey:
What are you thinking?
What are you feeling?
What lies are you believing?
What is the truth?
Let's dig a little deeper to see how each one helps when practicing acceptance.
1 | What Are You Thinking?
During sessions, I'll probably ask it a bit more softly: "what thoughts are coming up?" This wording encourages us to observe our minds without getting too involved in thinking about thinking.
This question serves as a foundation for acceptance. We can't accept what's happening without first conceptualizing it.
2 | What Are You Feeling?
Again, I might phrase it softly: "what emotions arise?" This wording opens us up to seeing emotions without feeling "labeled" by them.
I might not want to be angry so it would be hard to admit that anger exists within me. But observing my emotions more objectively allows me to move toward accepting that this is the way I feel right now, whether I like it or not.
Remember: It won't always be like this. Change is imminent.
3 | What Lies Are You Believing?
If it's anger that I find challenging to accept, I may have believed that it is unacceptable to be angry. But that's not really what I believe to be true.
Simply identifying this discrepancy moves me toward acceptance of the emotion that has arisen.
4 | What Is the Truth?
I know it to be true that the anger serves as a notification that something does not sit well with me. I can look to the anger to understand what went wrong and how I want to address it.
Experiencing anger is acceptable and I am thankful for this opportunity to honor this emotion.
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It does seem pretty simple, right? It is! And it's effective. Try thinking, talking, or writing your way through these questions and answers. Let me know what difference it makes for you!
Wishing you wellness,
Rebecca Danae 💕